Forgotten Fiancée (London Ladies Book 3) Page 24

  Carrying a candle she descended the grand staircase one careful step at a time, still nursing a few bumps and bruises including the welt on her head that had closed and begun heal courtesy of a local doctor’s care, but remained visible as a streak of red running across the right side of her temple.

  It was well after dinner, and the servants that did not live at Winfield had all gone home for the evening, leaving the house quiet and sparsely lit. Spying a flicker of light coming from beneath the door of the library Dianna held her breath as she approached, the candle bobbing in her hand as she raised a fist and softly knocked.

  After a long, interminable pause the door swung inward to reveal the last person in the entire estate Diana would have hoped to come across.

  “What are you doing down here?” Dressed in a nightgown and heavy robe, holding a sewing needle in one hand and a ball of yarn in the other, Lady Radnor looked down her nose at Dianna and gave an exaggerated sniff. “It is late. Go back upstairs,” she said, ordering Dianna about as if she were one of the maids instead of a guest.

  Having waited this long and come this far, however, Dianna was not about to turn around so easily. “I would like to see Miles. Do you know where he is?”

  Lady Radnor’s mouth thinned. “He is not here,” she said shortly. “Now go back upstairs.”

  The library door began to slowly swing shut, leaving Dianna with precious few seconds to decide what she wanted to do. The old Dianna would have stepped meekly aside and let the door shut. Not wanting to incite Lady Radnor’s wrath, the old Dianna would have done precisely as she had been asked and scurried back to bed without a single protest.

  How unfortunate - for Lady Radnor - that she’d left the old Dianna in London.

  Catching the edge of the door with her foot, she shoved it back open and, ignoring Lady Radnor’s sputter of outrage, said, “I am sorry to have disturbed you at such a late hour, but I really must insist on seeing Miles.”

  “How dare you-”

  “How dare you, Lady Radnor.” Lifting her chin, Dianna stared fiercely at Miles’ mother. It was the first time she’d ever dared look the older woman in the eye. “How dare you treat me as you did for all of those years. How dare you act as if I was never good enough for your son and how dare you have the audacity to decide his life for him when he was no more than a child. Miles deserved more than that, as did I. So do not dare me, Lady Radnor. Not anymore.”

  Lips pinched into a bloodless white line and stern countenance drained of all color, Lady Radnor lifted a trembling arm and pointed over Dianna’s right shoulder towards the front door. “The horses. He is with his horses.”

  Dianna nodded. “Thank you.”

  Tucked away behind a towering row of English oaks, Winfield’s stables were larger and more impressive than many a home. Built of stone with a meticulously kept courtyard in front and acres of pasture out back, the main barn was accessed through sliding double doors painted the color of brick.

  Dianna found both doors closed, but seeing a glow of light spilling out from beneath them in the shape of a half-moon she marched forward with single-minded determination.

  Pushing one door open a few scant inches she slipped in sideways, her footsteps muffled by the thick layer of straw on the barn floor. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting she inhaled the familiar scents of horse and hay and leather, breath catching in her throat when she spotted Miles tending to a chestnut in the middle of the aisle.

  Dressed in dark trousers and a white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows, he groomed the horse with his back to her, moving a brush with rhythmic strokes across the chestnut’s shoulder until it gleamed in the torchlight like a new copper penny. A sheen of perspiration covered Miles’ forehead and dampened the back of his shirt, indicating he’d been in the barn for quite some time.

  He had always gone to his horses when he needed to think, and as Dianna silently approached she could only hope he was thinking of her. There would be no going back after this. She would either leave the stables with Miles at her side… or her heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

  The horse sensed her presence first. Nostrils flaring, it threw up its head and struck out testily at the wall, hoof striking the wood with a reverberating bang that froze Dianna in her tracks.

  “What the devil… Dianna?” Stepping around the side of the horse, Miles did a double take when he saw her, one hand passing down over his face as though he didn’t trust his own vision. Then he blinked, and his expression hardened. “What are you doing here? You should still be in bed. Your head-”

  “Is fine,” she interrupted. “My head is fine and the only reason I am out here is because you refused to come see me in there,” she said, jerking her chin in the direction of the manor.

  Miles was not swayed. Closing the distance between them in three rapid strides, he stopped just short of touching her, arms stiff at his sides and hands clenched into tight fists that betrayed the tension running rampant through his body. “You’re not well.” His gaze fell to the welt on her temple, a severe frown pulling at the corners of his mouth as he studied the wound. “The doctor said the cut on your head would take at least a week to heal.”

  “I am well enough,” Dianna snapped. Seeing Miles’ eyes widen, she closed her own and sighed deeply. This was not how she’d imagined their conversation starting out.

  For the past three days while she laid in her bed with nothing else to do but count the cracks running across the plaster ceiling, she had thought about what she would say when Miles finally came to see her. She’d gone over every word and sentence, even going so far as to practice the varying inflections she would use in her tone.

  Now she could remember none of it.

  “Why haven’t you come to see me?” A golden curl tumbled across her brow when she shook her head in bewilderment. Miles reached for the errant tendril before she could, allowing the lock to twist around his finger before he tucked it carefully behind her ear.

  “I couldn’t,” he said after a long pause. “I couldn’t see you laying in the bed, so small and fragile, and know you were there because of me. That you’d nearly lost your life… because of me.”

  “You saved me,” Dianna corrected. “If you hadn’t found me, I do not know what would have happened.” Gazing up at his ruggedly handsome face, she saw a flash of anger spark in the depths of his dark green eyes.

  “There is another reason I did not come to see you,” he said roughly. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “Hurt me?” she asked in confusion. “How could you-”

  “You never should have come here!” he snarled, the sudden raw display of ferocity in his countenance and voice causing her to jump back in alarm. “Do you have any idea what could have happened? Do you? DO YOU?”

  Dianna swallowed. “I-I-”

  “You’re terrified of horses! You haven’t ridden since you were a child! What were you thinking? Bloody hell,” he cursed, turning away to rake both hands violently through his hair. “You could have been killed.”

  Realizing his anger stemmed from fear and concern, Dianna followed after him as he stalked down the length of the aisle to stare broodingly out the back doors at the rolling fields beyond. The sun had nearly set, leaving the sky painted in swatches of gold and dusky rose as the moon slowly revealed itself.

  “Harper told me you were leaving to travel abroad. I did not want to risk being too late,” Dianna said quietly.

  Miles’ shirt rippled as his powerful back muscles clenched and tightened. “So you thought to risk your life instead?”

  She stepped up beside him and took his arm, fingers splaying evenly across the dark dusting of hair. “Does that upset you?”

  He turned his head to look down at her incredulously. “Does that - of course it does! If something ever happened to you...”

  As she gazed up at the man she loved, his face a war of conflict as he struggled to come to terms with the emotions battling inside of him, D
ianna realized he would never be perfect, but then neither would she. They were both flawed. They had both brought hurt to the other. But they had also brought strength and happiness, laughter and courage, love and hope.

  She used to believe Miles had broken her when he left.

  But he hadn’t.

  He’d made her stronger.

  For even though they had been connected since birth by circumstances beyond their control, they’d each needed to forge their own way in life. For Miles, it had meant leaving everyone and everything he held dear to explore the unknown. For Dianna, it had meant discovering her own voice and learning how to use it to speak for herself.

  If Miles had never left they would have been married on that fateful day four years ago, but they never would have been happy. Miles would have grown to resent her in time and beneath the crushing weight of his resentment and all the things she was too timid to say, Dianna feared she would have grown smaller and smaller until one day she simply… disappeared.

  “I came here to give you an answer to your question. The one you asked me in the carriage after the ball,” she explained when he looked at her blankly.

  Miles’ expression abruptly darkened, the corners of his mouth tightening into a grimace of self-disgust. “That night in the carriage I lost control. I never should have touched you. I never meant-”

  “I know.” She squeezed his arm. “I know, Miles.”

  His chest rose and fell as he drew a ragged breath before looking down at their joined flesh. “I am leaving tomorrow. I cannot remain in England. I just… I cannot. Not anymore. You were right. I don’t deserve you. I never did.”

  Heart aching for the naked pain she saw in Miles’ eyes, Dianna fought the urge to wrap her arms around him and draw his head down to her breast. The only thing that stopped her was not knowing how he would react. Now more than ever before she needed to keep her head about her so when it mattered most she might still keep her heart.

  “Be that as it may,” she said steadily, “you are not leaving.”

  Behind them the chestnut Miles had been grooming began to paw the ground, shifting its weight from hock to hock as it grew increasingly impatient. Another horse nickered in soft inquiry, swinging its large head up and over its stall door to study them, ears twitching back and forth as though to ask, what are you doing here and did you bring any treats?

  Miles’ eyes slid shut. “Dianna…”

  “You asked me why I didn’t run from the robber when I had the chance. That was your question. The one I couldn’t answer before. Well I thought about it, and I have an answer for you now. I didn’t run because I love you.”

  She heard his breath catch and then he was the one holding her, one hand closing possessively around the small of her back while the other tipped her chin up until their gazes clashed, hopeful blue against fiery green. The last rays of sunlight spilled across his countenance, illuminating the hard planes of his face in a soft golden glow. “Do not say that to me unless you mean it down to your very soul.” His thumb caught on the curve of her jaw, hovering over the spot where her pulse beat fast as a butterfly’s wing.

  “I do,” she whispered achingly. “I am sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I know now that I love you. That I have always loved you. That I will always love you.”

  “Why now?” The hand touching her jaw trembled ever-so-slightly. “Damn it Dianna, why now?”

  “Because I was afraid before. Afraid of being hurt. Afraid you would leave again. Then I realized… I realized the pain I felt after you left would be nothing compared to the pain I would feel if I kept us from having a second chance.”

  They weren’t the words she had practiced, but they were pulled straight from her heart nevertheless. She waited for Miles’ reply with bated breath, not knowing what she would do if he turned her away… and nearly wept with sheer joy when a ragged smile took possession of his mouth and he pulled her close, holding her so tightly against his chest she felt the accelerated beat of his heart through their clothes.

  “I never thought I would hear you say those words to me again,” he murmured, lips catching on the soft strands of her hair. “I wasn’t ready to hear them as a boy, but as a man… as a man they’re the only thing I’ve wanted to hear since I returned to England. Say them again,” he urged as he pulled her even closer against his chest, mouth descending to press gently against her temple.

  “I love you.”

  His mouth went lower still. “Again,” he murmured.

  “I love you,” Dianna whispered, tilting back her head, lashes sweeping against her cheeks as she closed her eyes.

  “Again.”

  Feeling the heat of his mouth at her collarbone, she sucked in a startled breath as her body gave one long, hard tremble of awareness. “I-I love you,” she said shakily.

  Miles followed the line of her neck up to her lips, peppering her flesh with soft kisses, each one lingering longer than the last. “Once more,” he breathed.

  “I love-”

  He kissed her full across the mouth before she could finish, devouring her lips with a heavy groan that Dianna felt more than heard. Her spine arched as she pressed herself against him, fingers tangling in the thick softness of his hair. The kiss deepened and grew slick, tongues entangling as they desperately sought more.

  More pleasure.

  More passion.

  More desire.

  Too long denied, the force of Dianna’s lust shot through her body like a flame. She moaned as Miles worked his way back down her neck, tugging at the bodice of her gown as he went until it spilled to the side, revealing the rosy tip of one breast, the hardened point visible beneath the see through fabric of her chemise. She cried out when he took her nipple between his lips, using his tongue and teeth to bring her arousal to a feverish pitch.

  “So long,” he murmured before he began to lavish the same attention on her other breast, supporting it with his hand as he feasted. “So long I’ve waited to touch you like this… To taste you like this.”

  Dianna’s head lolled to one side, fingers clutching weakly at the nape of Miles’ neck as her knees trembled and threatened to give way. She began to pant, breaths coming in short, uneven bursts of pleasure as wave after wave of stunning sensuality crashed over her.

  It felt so right to be in his arms. Her mind may have been satisfied with precious words, but this was what her body secretly yearned for. To be kissed. To be tasted. To be touched in places too wicked to name.

  Miles drew a ragged breath and lifted his head to reveal green eyes gone dark with desire, pupils dilated to twice their normal size. “I want you,” he said hoarsely. “But not here. Not yet. I do not want to hurt you and the first time… the first time can be painful.”

  Dianna shook her head, clinging firmly to his shoulders when he would have stepped back. “I trust you,” she whispered, gazing deep into his eyes, willing him to understand this was exactly the right place and exactly the right time. It wasn’t perfect. They were in a barn, not a bedroom, and she would have preferred to wait until they were bound by more than promises, but for once… for once she wanted to seize the moment as it was, not as she wanted it to be.

  He kissed her brow. “If you are sure…”

  Ignoring the slight tremor of nerves in her belly, Dianna rose up on her toes and pressed her mouth to his. “I am.

  “There is a guest cottage on the other side of the stables.” Entwining their hands Miles led her out of the barn. Smiling, laughing, they dashed like playful children towards a stone cottage, using the light of the moon to guide them. Breathless, Dianna reached the cottage first and threw open the door.

  She made it two steps past the threshold before Miles caught her and spun her around. He cupped her jaw with both hands, nibbling her lips to distraction as he backed her slowly inside. One well aimed kick of his boot and the door slammed shut behind them. Dianna shrieked when he picked her up. Shrieked again when he carried her to the bedroom and dropped her onto a
soft mattress covered in luxurious white linen and a half dozen pillows stuffed with feather down.

  They undressed one another, Dianna’s fingers fumbling clumsily with the buttons on Miles’ shirt while he unlaced the stays of her chemise with ease. Lifting her golden curls, bathed silver by the moonlight cascading in through a large picture window, he kissed the long ivory curve of one bare shoulder as he gently encouraged her to lay all the way back.

  For the first time since they’d begun Dianna tensed, muscles coiling in apprehension as she began to fear the unknown. Easing her trepidation with soothing whispers and soft nuzzles, he kissed only her mouth until she began to instinctively seek more, hips rising up and off the mattress as a pressure began to steadily build in the secret place between her thighs that had grown suddenly slick and damp with desire.

  He touched her with his fingers first, readying her entrance and preparing her for what was to follow. As he’d forewarned the initial thrust of his body into hers was painful but he went slowly and soon they were moving in tandem, working towards something Dianna desperately craved but could not name.

  “Miles,” she gasped, head thrashing from side to side. “Miles, I… I don’t know what is happening to me.”

  “Almost. Almost, love. We’re… nearly there.” He kissed her flush across the mouth, tongue sliding between her teeth to move in unison with the ebb and flow of their bodies.

  The sudden flood of release took Dianna by storm. She cried out, spine arching as she clung desperately to Miles’ broad shoulders. He released a guttural bellow, hands convulsively gripping the sheets on either side of her head as they soared over the edge of blissful oblivion together.